This week I would like to propose a challenge that would be good for anyone, but especially for those who doubt your own self-worth. It may sound intimidating in the beginning, but I beg of you to please take some time and give it a shot.
The Self-Worth Challenge
- Follow each step carefully without reading ahead.
- Think of three to five people whom you are close to and have a good relationship with. If you are married and/or have children I strongly suggest you choose them (though maybe not your teenagers… they can be a bit unpredictable.)
- Hand them a blank sheet of paper and explain that you would really appreciate it if they could take five minutes (set a timer!!!) and just write down (or draw) as many things they can think of that they love about you.
- While they are doing that, take your own sheet of paper and make a list of the things that you hate about yourself. Yes, I am all about positive affirmation. But let’s get real. There are things that you don’t like about yourself. Me too. It’s okay. It’s totally acceptable to be honest, just don’t focus on it.
- When the timer is up, receive the papers and thank them. (If your “people” do not live with you, you may have to take a break here until you can receive them).
- Leave your phone, computer, tablet, etc. in another room and retreat to your quiet place to read what your loved ones have written. Read each one at least twice BEFORE moving on to the next section of this post. Also, read your own. When you are finished, come back to this post.
Are You Ready To See How Others View You?
Did you read all of it twice? Theirs and yours? Do you want to read them all again? If you do please feel free. But when you’re ready, I want you to think about a few things. Do you trust the people who made these lists for you? Do you think that they would lie?
If they truly love you, I don’t think they would. The things that they wrote on those papers in front of you are actually how they feel. These things are what they truly LOVE, ADORE, and APPRECIATE about you. And you only asked them to take five minutes. Imagine how many more positive thoughts about you go through their head in an entire day?
Now Let’s Talk About Your Own Self-Image and Self-Worth
Take a look at your own list, the one about things you hate about yourself. I know you were honest too. These are things about you that you very strongly dislike, and that’s okay. No one likes everything about themselves. But let me tell you something, most of the things on that list mean absolutely NOTHING to those who love you. In their eyes, things are much different.
Those people see you as the most amazing, most wonderful person. And guess what? It’s because you are. Sure, sometimes you might lose your temper. Maybe you’re a slob. Maybe you can’t cook. But guess what? THEY DON’T CARE. They love you because you are you and you mean the entire world to them.
Now, I want you to take those positive lists, and put them in different places around your house where you will see them. Put one on the refrigerator or on your front door. You could put one on your bathroom mirror. Try to put them anywhere you know you will absolutely have to see them.
Every single time you start to feel discouraged and that mean little voice pops up and says, “It doesn’t matter anyways. Nobody cares about me.” Or “I can’t do anything right.” Or even, “I do not have a single purpose in my life.” I want you to walk over to one of those notes and read it.
I want you to realize that you are loved. You are important. You do serve a purpose. Even though you have some difficulties and some quirks, and maybe even some major issues, there are people that care about you. And in their eyes, you are AMAZING!
Don’t Ignore the Things You Dislike About Yourself
Pep talks are great, right? But if you’re like me, you’re sitting back now and saying, “Yeah, well, that’s great. But look at my bad list. What do I do about it?” I want you to look at item number one. The first thing that you wrote down. Can you remember what it is? Great. Now shred the paper. Rip it into shreds and put the pieces in the garbage.
Before you go to bed tonight, I want you to have a conversation with someone you are close to that you can trust. I want you to look them in the eye and tell them that you are thankful they’re in your life. Let them know you’ve been doing some self reflection and you want to improve your life.
Tell them you are going to start with item number one on your list. Let this person know what you want to improve. Then the two of you work together to brainstorm ways to fix that number one item. Because if you can improve on that one item, you are going to realize that you can do this. You are capable of beating the negativity.
But guess what? Even if you completely fail to do better at that ONE thing YOU ARE STILL LOVED. And guess what else? YOU CAN TRY AGAIN.
If you took the challenge, please let me know how it went for you and don’t forget to share with friends or loved ones who may need a pick me up as well. Even if your loved one doesn’t want to join in, take five minutes and write down all the things you love about them and give it to them. That act alone will bring a smile and a boost of self-confidence to their step.
If you’ve enjoyed this post, please share it with a few of your friends who could use a self-worth boost.