I don’t care who you are, but I can guarantee spending 10 minutes in conversation with a child will most likely result in some good belly laughs. I thought I would take a few moments to share with you some of the funny things that I’ve heard my kids say.
Similar Sounding Words Cause Confusion
One day, one of our children was suffering from a cold and I kept seeing her running into the living room and then sitting down on the table in front of our couch. After numerous times, I asked, “Why are you sitting there?” To which she replied sweetly, “I have to sit on the COUGHING table when I have to cough!”
One day, the girls were helping me put clothes onto hangers. One of them didn’t seem to be doing too well so I asked if there was a problem. Imagine my surprise when I heard an exasperated sigh, “Mommy! I didn’t want to do math! We already did school today! I just wanted to help you with laundry! I don’t even know how to do this kind of math problem so I don’t know whose dress this one is!” Confused, I looked over at the article of clothing in her hand. I guess 18-24 months does look a bit like a math problem.
On another occasion, I was informed that we shouldn’t learn any new concepts for a while because, “I just have a little brain, Mommy and it’s already so full of so many things. I don’t think anything else is going to fit until my brain grows some more!”
On another day, a discussion of cultures and languages brought up some very interesting information. I asked, “What language do you speak?” After not getting a response I added, “Do you think you speak Spanish? Or Swahili? Or Tagalog?” Confidently, one of them looked at me and said, “No, I just speak Normal.”
We taught most of our kids sign language as toddlers to help with early communication. One day, while visiting another church for only the second time, my two year old snuck out of the pew and into the main aisle. There, she stared at the preacher and said in sign language, “NO! All-done! NO!” I was very thankful no one else in the church understood.
At home one evening were discussing John 3:16. I asked, “What does everlasting life mean?” One answered, “We get to live forever!” I then turned to one child who had been fairly quiet and asked “Do you know where we get to go to live forever if we’re saved?” With wide eyes she exclaimed, “YEAH! We get to go live in Ohio State! O-H!” And another echoed “I-O!”
Nobody Trusts Mommy
As I’m sure I’ll write about later, I have a major fear of driving, but I am conquering it a little at a time. The first time I decided to drive with all four kids in the car, one of them looked at me completely seriously and says, “Do you REALLY think that’s a good idea? I mean, Daddy has NEVER let you do that! And what if we DIE?!?!?!”
Songs Get Silly
Just a few examples of the way lyrics have been misunderstood in our home:
“Row, row, row ya boat, drinking down the thing!”
“He punched me into the tree beneath His cleansing blood” (Victory in Jesus)
After a long night getting woken up numerous times by kids who wanted/needed different things and/or were sick, this little monster decided to wake me up super early. I tried my best to just ignore her (maybe she’d go away?) but instead, she climbed off my bed, went to the bookshelf and returned with this book. “Mommy?” she said sweetly, “I love you.” “I love you, too,” I replied. Then I opened my eyes. “What are you doing? I asked. “I think you ought to read this!” If only she knew what she was actually suggesting.
“What did she say?!”
- Nearly all kids are hard to understand at times, but sometimes those words sound more like things we’d rather them not say. As a few examples, we once went to Tudor’s Biscuit World where one of my children announced loudly, “I WANT MY BIG SH** NOW!” Stunned, my husband looked at her. “What do you want?” She repeated it, much more calm and then said, “I’m just so hungry. You said we could have some big sh**s!”
- Another time, the kids were playing with dolls in the living room floor and one of them began crying. “She took my toy!” “Which one?” I asked, more annoyed than concerned. “She took my A#&H*^E” “She took your WHAT?!” I yelled to which she repeated it, still very upset. My oldest (who is typically a great translator) then informed me in complete innocence, “She’s just upset because she took the Elsa doll from someone and they took it back but she wanted it.” So now we all know what Elsa is.
- According to one of my children, Peter Piper did not pick pickled peppers. Rather, he “pecked a pick of pickled peckers”.
What About Your Kids?
What are some of the funny things your kids have had to say recently? Let me know in the comments and be sure to share this post with your friends!